We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
