so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
