i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
40s are totally the cure
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
