i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
