All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
