EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Your cock deserves a montage
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
where are my eyebrows?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
