My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That accounts for only three of the penises
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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