He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
