Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I did not marry a roomba.
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