i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
