"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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