Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
This is the high leading the old right now
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
