I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
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he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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