it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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