If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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