Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
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we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
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Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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