our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
send nudes
from the living room?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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