Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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