I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
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