Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
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