omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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