They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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