I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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