is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
