kristin has been a bad kristin
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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