the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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