You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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