Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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