You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
