with your own penis?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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