Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
