PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
