Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
