dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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