I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
