Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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