i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
