I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize