i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
