Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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