Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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