I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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