I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize