Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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