I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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