She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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