we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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