Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
