You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
