giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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