Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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