So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
