A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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