I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
