I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he puts the penis in happiness.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
