yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So many bounce houses so little time
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
