i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
