No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
