idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
