Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
