just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Your penis caused this!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
