Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Couch. On fire.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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