What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
